yet she/they/he can only appear
femme or masc,
not neither or both.

He/she can only use
male or female pronouns,
as written in the code,
not neither or both.

In this digital realm, Eorzea,
every binary
trans person’s dream gender-swap
fantasy is reality: a Fantasia elixir
exists to endow the transfeminine
with bulbous breasts
and thinner vocal folds,
to grant the transmascs
their thick dicks
and extra inches up top.

My lizard girl becomes
my bunny boy becomes
my human man becomes
my elven woman, with the click
of a button and my credit
card details.

If only it was that easy.

My grad school rejection
letters say Miss or Ms. [Deadname].

My aunt tells me [Deadname]
is prettier, cackles
when I say,
That’s not what I’m aiming
for. That’s not the point.

As much as I’d savor running
my fingers over the official seal
of an amended birth
certificate, as much as I’d show
my aunt and say,
Look, my name’s legit.
The government says so. See?
I can’t risk being
in a database of gender
at birth nonconformity.
I can’t risk not being
able to flee a regime
so pressed
about the so-called transmogrification
of bodies that aren’t theirs.

So I log into the game,
read miss and ma’am
and my lady
and ignore the pang,
the chokehold
in my chest.