Who you are is not the choices you make
Who you are is the choices you make ad infinitum
I chose to keep breathing when I didn’t want to

You are not your mistakes
You are your routines, no matter how small
The rhythm of your coffeepot and morning cigarette
The strangers you avoid eye contact with on your commute
I don’t think anyone chooses to be a mentor that isn’t a fucking asshole

My mentors knew things I didn’t because the world was mean to them
But they kept breathing when I didn’t want to
They stayed alive, and showed up, at least enough for me to see
And that was enough for a legacy
Whether they knew it or wanted it or not

I don’t want to be a mentor
I don’t want the world to be mean to me
But some days I don’t want to keep breathing
And the only reason I do
Is some nameless, faceless, dyed-red-hair kid in a thrift store
That saw me in line; all I was was grateful.
Grateful to find a real leather jacket for $15
And a tug on my sleeve.
And a stranger, the one thing i’d hoped to avoid,
And myself in a stranger’s face, and a braver one,
Because they spoke to me and they said

“I like your hair.”

People outside of Us
Whether Us is a gene or a culture or a blessing or a sin
Wouldn’t hear what a stranger said to me
Words that danced behind my tongue for years –
I see you. You are me.

Who you are is not your past
It is only your future, and only charlatans can pretend
To see it for you

My mentors didn’t want to be heroes,
They wanted to live, they wanted to breathe
In a world that didn’t want them to
And when I saw them, I recognized myself
And I wanted to breathe too

All my fear from eyes upon me
Is from knowing that I haven’t any answers
And even as I learn that there are none
I find comfort in it

But others still find fear,
And it is for them that I must keep breathing